Resisting Who You Are Is A Major Source Of Stress For Most People
In a society that for far too long has focused so much attention on what is beautiful, what is acceptable, what is not, what is trendy, what is not, what is of value, what is not… we have a rather screwed up distortion of what is of value.
So many of us place far more attention on money, other’s perception than on our own wellbeing or happiness, our own self love.
When you pretend or wish to be someone else to fit in, we waste a lot of energy wishing, trying and even resistance, trying to be someone we are not. You may not even be aware of it, perhaps you want to be more outgoing than Karen in the office or be exactly like George who seems so organised and great at everything. Maybe your hiding your individuality in fear of being viewed as weird.
Over the years I have witnessed so many clients and close friends and family, force or find themselves in roles where they were trying, had to or were receiving pressure to be someone else.
Stress is based on our perception, fear or threat, if you are suffering from constant stress, you are often in resistance to a challenge, situation and present life circumstance where you are not in the flow, your not relaxed.
When you can truly be yourself and accept yourself, you begin to truly live a life that is healthy for you. When you don’t, your surviving under a shadow, maybe that square peg trying to fit into that round hole, its frustrating, exhausting, uncomfortable and full of internal and external pressure to fit into that role, you have created.
I thought I was always being myself until much closer inspection and awareness made me realise, how much I had been kidding myself on.
I have been always been an empath, extremely sensitive, caring and generous, but in business I believed I had to hide behind this professional wall, this qualification, this expertise or my business name. I put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself to have the highest qualifications, the most extensive experience to justify I was enough, you see I have lived with over 25 years of health challenges and a life time of emotional sensitivity which I was trying to deny not own. Although I didn’t hide my illnesses I suffered the shame that comes with many things we don’t like about ourselves. It was what I believed as my weak point, which some other people in my field used to try and dis-empower me.
But their lack of insight and awareness, was a mere reflection of my own beliefs and my unacceptance of me. I was not fully embracing and owning all the aspects of me, which makes me, me. As I have begun that journey towards total acceptance, I have begun to love and accept that these vulnerabilities that are not wrong, bad they are just me and very much why I am the caring, compassionate, experienced healer I am. Very much why I am the healer I am today.
What are you not fully embracing? What sort of pressure do you put yourself in to be? What part of you are you not owning? What parts of shame are actually your hidden key or hidden treasure to a much more amazing, powerful, yet peaceful, stress free life?