Communication struggles – Linsey Denham (Guest Post)
Are you someone who struggles to communicate with others?
Perhaps you only struggle at work or perhaps, like me, you struggle mostly when you have to communicate your needs at a personal level?/
Recently, I have been gifted a few occasions to speak my truth on a personal level, something that I have long struggled to do.
My usual ways of dealing with my inability to communicate my feelings were as follow6:
1. Go into stomping-silence mode, where the person knew that I was upset but often had no clue why.
2. Silent-screaming mode, where I pretended that nothing was wrong, so nobody knew that I was unhappy.
Neither of these two methods of communication were effective or beneficial in any way and they often lead to my spiraling further into whatever negative emotion I was feeling, compounding it with the anger I felt at myself for being unable to speak-up.
I believe that poor personal communication is more common than I thought and this sharing of mine is done to help others who are struggling in the same way as I have.
To say what you want to say, when you want to say it…calmly…is not easy for some of us but there is help to be had and I found mine in the form of the Bach Flower Remedies and Mindfulness meditation.
Mindfulness practice helps me to observe my thoughts and feelings and to understand that I have a choice as to whether to sit in my ‘poor me’ cave or to escape it, with the help of the Bach Flowers.
Sitting quietly, as a daily practice, tuning into the emotions that may be hiding under a guise of ‘I am fine’, has been a pivotal point in my ability to communicate with those closest to me.
Discovering that you are not fine and knowing that you are responsible for doing something about it can spoil your day because blaming someone else is much easier than stepping up to the ‘putting it right’ plate.
But the ‘stepping up’ is SO worth it.
Scary and uncomfortable as my recent revelations to others have been, I feel very proud of myself for the honesty I have conveyed.
Admitting to several different people, several different struggles that I have has been awesomely terrifying and satisfying in equal measures.
Sharing the madness in my mind with my sister, my employer, my girlfriends’ and my family has unpadlocked my truth and shown those closest to me, my struggles with my hugely fragile mental health.
The Bach Flower Remedies have been a godsend these past two decades.
Without them, I doubt I would be alive to type this out for you to read.
They have brought to the surface, my confidence, courage, self-worth, faith, trust and hope, to allow me to serve others by sharing myself.
If you recognise yourself in this revelation of mine, please know that you are not alone.
There is a whole army of people like us in the world…and we are here for a reason.
To Connect and to Speak our truth…whatever that is.
Love and light have been infused in every word you have read,
Written by Linsey Denham
Emotional Support Specialist
Bach Flowers, Reiki and Mindfulness Practitioner & Trainer.