Biggest Goal-Setting Mistakes- Are Your Goals Killing You?

So many people are setting themselves up for huge disappointment and stress by setting goals from the wrong mental and emotional state. Goals that are not from the soul but the ego.

Dreams and goals can be the biggest motivating force that can help us through difficult situations. But when someone sets out to complete a goal or dream from the wrong place and at any cost, it can be an individual’s biggest source of stress and a major cause of serious mental, emotional and physical distress.

Are you making the most common goal-setting mistake?

Most goals and dreams never give people the happiness and contentment they desire because the motivation behind that goal is distorted, unhealthy, and made for all the wrong reasons. Mostly coming from a place of lack, of fear. Instead of from the heart, the soul.

We can all dream of a more magical life but if we are constantly focusing on goals from the ego instead of the soul, it can create a state of dis-ease as we are not really setting those goals from a state of pure intention and we are less likely to be truly in spiritual flow.

In this state we will struggle to be and live in the moment, struggle to enjoy or accept each moment or experience it as it comes, we miss the chance to enjoy peace right now just as things are.

Goal Setting can be very helpful to achieve and break down many tasks, career, and lifestyle changes. But if we only focus on the future, believing we will only be happier when this or that happens… We are not in the present moment and in a state of lack.

Sadly most of society is conditioned to function most of the time from the egoic mind, the fearful distracted mind. Not in the right here, right now, where you are supposed to be.

The Wrong Types Of Motivation With Unhealthy Goal Setting

Most goals come from a place of not being enough or not having enough… we think if we get that better job, we will be happier, more accepting, more loved, more secure, freer, more independent…

But sooner or later we realize that the ego wants more, more, more… because it is functioning from lack and fear than peace.

Also, a common additional issue with this is that the more we want, the busier we tend to make our lives. With that new job, that new relationship, that bigger house, those bigger commitments, come bigger stressors we need to fix.

The Sad Symptoms Of The Wrong Goal Setting

For too long I met many clients who had spent decades achieving that great job. But by the time they got to where they wanted, they had all sorts of health complications or relationship/ family breakdowns, exhaustion, stress, depression, anxiety… So are your goals killing you? So many people don’t notice until it is far too late and the damage has been done.

Most of these clients ended up spending most of their hard-earned cash on fixing, buffering, soothing the demands of their crazy hectic life; housekeeper, babysitter, childminder, fast food deliveries, dog walker, iron service…and not forgetting those extra costs of stress and health, the osteopath, the counsellor, personal trainer, weight and yoga class…

They soon realise too late that it wasn’t really the job, new home, or relationship they wanted. But what they thought that job, home or relationship would actually make them feel or give them. Many assumed they would have less pressure, and more freedom. BUT what most really craved was a much simpler and peaceful life.

The biggest problem is most people set goals from fear and their monkey mind, they focus on temporarily distorted wants they think will fix their unhappiness, rather than heart-based wishes that come from their soul.

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That is why when a client comes to a life, business or stress coaching session with myself I always help clients explore the reasons behind a goal, a dream a lifestyle change. I usually use soem form of meditation to get them out of their head into their heart. Sadly too many coaches fall into old fashioned coaching styles that are aimed at only achieving the goal. More spiritual and holistic based coaching helps clients look at a much wider and deeper perspective. And really question their beliefs, ideas and what they really want underneath it all.

A regular meditation practise is an  important way to get out of your head and to open what your heart and soul really wants. It also teaches you how to be in the moment experience more calm, confidence and clarity.

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