Biggest Most Common Goal Setting Mistakes- Are Your Goals Killing You?
So many people are setting themselves up for huge disappointment and stress by setting goals from the wrong emotional state.
Dreams and goals can be the biggest motivating force that helps us through difficult situations. But when someone sets out to complete a goal or dream at any cost, it can be an individuals biggest source of stress and major cause of serious health challenges.
Most goals and dreams never give people the happiness and contentment they desire because the motivation BEHIND that goal is distorted, unhealthy and is made for all the wrong reasons.
We can all DREAM of a more magical life but if we cannot live in the moment, enjoy or accept each moment or experience as it comes, we miss the chance to enjoy peace right now just as things are.
Goal Setting can be very helpful to achieve and break down many tasks, career and lifestyle changes but if we only focus on the future, believing we will only be happier when…everything will be okay when..you are coming from a place of lack.
If you believe I will do that when I have this… Sadly in this state, we are constantly living in our head, in potential stories of the future not in the right here, right now, where you need to be with your family, friends and self.
The Wrong Tyes Of Motivation With Unhealthy Goal Setting
Most goals come from a place of not being enough or not having enough… we think if we get that better job, we will be more happy, more accepting, more loved, more secure, more free, more independent…but often or not when we get that, we realise there is always more, more, more… We need more help to fix the stress that comes with that new job, new relationship, those bigger commitments…
The Sad Symptoms Of The Wrong Goal Setting
For too long I met many clients who had spent decades on achieving that great job. But by the time they got to where they wanted, they had all sorts of health complications or relationship/ family breakdowns, exhaustion, stress, depression, anxiety… So are your goals killing you? So many people don’t notice until it is far too late and the damage has been done.
Most of these clients ended up spending most of their hard-earned cash on fixing, buffering, soothing the demands of their crazy hectic life; housekeeper, babysitter, childminder, fast food deliveries, dog walker, iron service…and not forgetting those extra costs of stress and health, the osteopath, the counsellor, personal trainer, weight and yoga class…
They soon realise too late that is wasn’t really the job, new home or relationship they wanted. But what they thought that job, home or relationship would actually make them feel or give them. Many assumed they would have less pressure, more freedom. Most craved for a much more simpler, peaceful life. So what does your goal setting strategy include what you need, what you want or what you assume that dream or goal will give you.
That is why when a client comes to a life, business or stress coaching session the coach should always explore the reasons behind a goal, a dream a lifestyle change. Sadly too many coaches fall into old fashioned coaching styles that are aimed at only achieving the goal. More spiritual and holistic based coaching helps clients look at a much wider and deeper perspective. And really question their beliefs, ideas and what they really want underneath it all.
So next time you are dream or goal setting ask yourself, ask your heart and soul why you really want this goal?
What do you really think this dream or goal is really going to give you? What if it doesn’t?