Yes, Even Super Heroes Get Stressed Out, Sick, And Exhausted.
Why do many of us think we are invincible to stress, struggle to admit we suffer from stress, until it’s too late? Until were so stressed out, were sick, exhausted or overwhelmed? The reality is that even the strongest people get stressed out.
We just need to look at the personal development push over the last 40 years on “you can be what every you want” and that “you can have everything you desire “, if you “work hard enough”. But at what cost?
Why You’re So Stressed
Often this can be misconceived or understood to mean “you can everything you want without sacrifice or stress”. For those who are already life’s givers, the carers, the supporters, the high achievers and perfectionists this can lead to all sorts of mental distortions including ” that you also have the capability to be everything for everyone”. When on so many levels this is not true.
Sadly these sorts of distorted beliefs are driving many people into false insanity. A very stressed way of being that leads to physical burnout, chronic anxiety, and/or chronic stress. In my role as a healer and stress therapist, I have first-class experience (my own journey suffering from burnout at a young age) and the thousands of students and clients I have worked with.
We are often motivated by distorted internal and external pressures and illusions that “we are” or “have to” be superhuman… So stressed out, we don’t even recognise ourselves or why we wanted something in the first place…
Why Over-Identifying With Certain Roles Leaves You Stressed
So many of us take on and over-identify, with highly demanding roles and pressures that leave us extremely stressed and exhausted. Being too many roles for far too many people. To the extent, you completely ignore or forget the self. My father has always said, if you want something done, ask a busy person, yes ask a high achiever, a doer…
Type A personality types, the high achievers, highly motivated individuals who “do” rather than go with the flow. But these are the type of people who end up with heart attacks, strokes, break downs that appears out of the blue.
Why Martyrs And Superheroes Get Stressed
Don’t get me wrong high motivation can be a tremendous resource. But sadly there are many Type A’s who are functioning on low-level self-worth, and low-level self-esteem. The martyrs, the fixers, caregivers, supporters, and yes superheroes who on some level can’t say no. Something I know too well.
On some level we believe it is our job, our role to do that to fix that, support this person and be always there for …It becomes our identity a very fixed, rigid identity that we never even question.
If the Super Hero, Conqueror, or Warrior archetype is hanging about we may also get caught in the trap of believing we are here to overcome or conquer every challenge. Face and conquer every challenge that life has to throw at us. S
ome of us may fall into a false sense of security of “invincibility”. Believing I can do everything I set to achieve. But sometimes with a rather foggy sense of the price of the pitfalls of that challenge. Naively ignoring or not recognising the demands that conquering has on your health, happiness, and relationships.
As a Stress Therapist, I am reminded daily of the damage caused by unhealthy internal demands and high expectations of the human self. I am a witness to the serious mental, emotional, and physical breakdown that arrives on the person before they know it. The chronic and debilitating health challenges that I and many suffer.
As a healer, therapist, and coach who arrived on this journey with rare and complex health challenges including M.E, Lymes, Fibromyalgia. and mercury toxicity. I recognised how early on my Type A Personality, my caregiver archetype and workaholic tendencies from a family business background played it’s part.
Why Every Super Hero Needs To Take Their Cloak Off
With mental health issues on the increase, anxiety, depression as well as stress is affecting most people at some stage of our lives. A large part of the problem seems to be that we are all “living for the future”. Very few people today know how to be in the moment.
People today rarely take the time to appreciate and “smell the roses”. Or take the time to really honour and appreciate the self and themself. What if we really truly appreciated and valued all the blessings we already have and have already achieved?
What if we learned to flow with life rather than push at life?
Sadly for too many of us, we are so addicted and glued to our superhero cape and mask, we are too scared to take it off. We fail to see it’s the mask and cape, our over-identity with our roles, with our shoulds and have tos that are driving us insane with chronic anxiety, stress and health challenges.
The Super Hero Or Heroine Carer
Another area where “superhero” tendencies are very strong, is very stressed-out long-term carers. Particularly those who are full-time carers, for disabled or chronically ill children, parents, partners or siblings. A role that is still very much undervalued and under-appreciated. Here I see men, women, and even children putting their own daily basic needs totally aside, their life on hold, to ensure that the person they care for has not just their needs met, but all of their wants.
An over-identification with this role and of course very challenging circumstances where too often there is a huge lack of support leads to all sorts of stress for the carer. Too many carers especially unpaid carers ignore and deny their own basic needs to fill the person they love needs and wants. Too often the carer becomes burnt out or more ill than the person they care for because of their “selfless” actions.
Perhaps you still believe you have to be that “superhero”. Well if so, you must have the physical, mental & emotional resilience and resources of a Super Hero. Like Batman’s body armour and spiders man’s webs, they come prepared all fuelled up, for all sorts of presenting challenges. And no matter if you think you are superhuman, or not, every single one of us can only remain healthy, balanced, and strong with healthy resources. In this case, anxiety and stress management resources provide us with highly effective resilience from the negative bullets of life.
